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THE CORNER STORE - EPISODE 104

Hey check my first spot as guest co-host of "The Corner Store with Kenneth McLaurin." It's my man Kenny along with me discussing our favorite soundtrack & movies. We got some hot music in between the comedy so take a listen and find out why were better than most radio stations.

http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/redblackdead/2010/04/27/the-corner-store-episode-104/

DON’T SAVE HER SHE DON’T WANT TO BE SAVED

As I hear the loud thunder clap of my next door neighbor’s head getting bashed in, I learned early on you can’t save any woman who doesn’t want to be saved from domestic violence. I remember first hearing the beatings a few months back and every so often they start again. You can hear the loud smacking sound of hand meeting meat as I try to guess what the five fingers are saying to the face. Sometimes I put my ear to the side of the wall and hear “HADOUKEN,” as the sound of furious uppercuts land. Many people might think I should step in, knock on the door or maybe call the police. NOPE, I’m staying completely out of it. As long as ol’ girl’s head doesn’t slam through my side of the wall, they can bust each other up till the white meat shows. Why would I get involved in this, if it’s happening over the course of months then obviously somebody keeps running back to someone. And that’s why no amount of meddling neighbors or police interference will stop someone from getting their head busted in the name of love. I know what some people are saying “Well it’d be different if was someone you knew, a friend or family member.” Nope, it wouldn’t matter I’d still stay out of it. I mean, I’d make an extra effort to talk to them and tell them to leave or something but that’s it. What can I do other than call the police that won’t risk me getting fucked up in the process?

I remember a homey of mine a few years back got into it with a nigga that beat his sister. Of course they ended up going two cars deep to the hood and stomped him out. Although they were mob deep this dude was still kind of big. He managed to get off a couple power swings before they took him to the ground. One nigga caught a speed bump right on the forehead. Death threats were issued between the two parties and of course everyone has access to guns. This could escalate to a life or death moment but since it’s for family it’s all worth it right? NOPE, luckily tension cooled down quickly cause within two weeks she got back with dude who smacked her up. So think about it, what if somebody got shot and died? What if dude called the cops and pressed assault charges on them? It would have all been in vain because she would have ran back to him regardless. That is why you cannot stop it; the only people who can are the two involved.

I believe if long terms domestic violent relationship persists both parties are sick. The woman is equally as twisted as the man. Despite the physical confrontations she refuses to leave him. That type of relationship is border line sadomasochistic; it appears pain is pleasure to both. Let’s be real here, the psychology of a domestically abusive relationship is not as simple as man gets angry, man beats her up. Although the media portrays it as that, it can be a more complex one depending on the relationship. Sometimes it can be a two way street where both people are hitting each other. Of course neither one has the intelligence to walk away so it continues. Sometimes the woman can instigate and turn a heated situation into an inferno. Some women see their man getting very angry and continue to prod and poke adding coals to the flame. Sometimes the man tries to walk away only to be follow while she still continues to badger away viciously. Most women know how to pull the strings and push the buttons on their man’s temper. Sometimes when she gets smacked she can see it coming like she’s Ms. Cleo.

I’m not condoning domestic violence, I’ve never hit a woman but I’ve damn near choked the shit out of one. I could never believe that a man shouldn’t hit a woman under any circumstance. I believe in giving bitches leeway but if she’s constantly hitting you I think a slap might calm her down. Realistically, if a bitch gets you that upset, to the point where you feel remarkable anger, you should shake the spot and drop that bitch like a bad habit. No need to allow it to get to physical point cause no matter who hits who the man always goes away in the handcuffs. But the media portrays women as victims all the time. They act as if a woman cannot be a dangerous person and a physical threat to society. If some of these WNBA sized bitches stuck you in your face then the average man would feel that. When women punch, that shit hurt. It ain’t the same force as Mike Tyson but it can do damage. I’m sorry if a bitch puts my back against the wall then I’m swinging. What do you expect, ya’ll want equal opportunity? Well if you were a man in that situation then I’d start swinging. I’d give an equal opportunity ass whooping. That’s an ass whooping that doesn’t discriminate based on a person’s race, creed, ethnicity, religion, sexual preference, disabilities or gender. I know if I swing on ANYBODY in life I’m expecting them to swing back. Most women don’t have that type of logical wiring in them so they have this supreme belief they can slap your ass around with no retaliation.

Fellas, if you’re ever on the prowl and run across a woman who was in a long term abusive relationship RUN AS FAST AS YOUR LEGS CAN CARRY YOU. Women who stay in those relationships are screwed up in the head. There’s a reason she stayed with ol’ dude so long…it’s cuz she knows she’s crazy and deserved her head cracked open. Most long term domestic abuse victims have a screw loose to begin with. She could be the enabler type, the kind old girl was who I almost squeezed all the life out of. She sparked anger in me that I had never exhibited before. Starting an argument over something petty and then when I would get up to cool off she would follow me and try to block my path. Of course, I remained cool the first few times and then one day out of the blue she shoved me from behind, I almost lost it right then and there. Needless to say I was smart enough to get out of the situation. A lesser man might have stayed and ended up catching charges. But that’s the thing about enablers; they push you to a whole new limit of anger where you feel your losing control of yourself. I have never felt that way before or since that incident. Women like that are attracted to guys that hit them. They get out of one abusive relationship then right back in another one. Maybe old girl saw how much of an asshole I was when she met me and thought I was the Ike to her Tina. I am an asshole at times and although I talk a whole bunch of shit, I’m smart enough to know she ain’t shit, no reason to get locked up behind her. Self esteem to women is the psychological equivalent of AIDS. It’s something that will fuck them up and eat away at them for the rest of their lives. Women with low self esteem make a lot of dumb decisions with their pussy. And these types of women always look towards men to fix it for them.

"NEW YORK NEW YORK/THE CITY SO NICE THEY TALK ABOUT IT MORE THAN TWICE."

I’ve been to New York a bunch of times. I’ve hung out in every borough except Staten Island (too isolated) and the Bronx (WHAT I NEED TO GO THERE FOR?). I had a pretty good time whenever I visit but I can’t say it’s any better than the fun I had in Los Angeles, Dallas or Atlanta. However, the one thing that separates those cities from New York is the fact that the natives of New York can’t ever seem to shut up about New York. Understand, I could never hate a whole group of people based off what city there from. NO, my hate is on a case by case basis but when I smell bullshit I got to call it out. I understand it’s the biggest city in the United States, but it isn’t the ONLY city in the United States. I continue to see a trend with most New Yorkers who roam out of town; they have an unnerving trend to constantly brag about the city in which they come from. I have been around transplant New Yorkers my whole adult life. Since freshman year at college in Durham, NC there was always somebody within arm’s length shouting out their borough around me. Now there’s nothing wrong with repping where you’re from, but it shouldn’t be at the cost of degrading where you’re at, “Durham ain’t shit, everything be closing all early. Yo, back in Brooklyn, son…Yo, you could walk like…two blocks down the ave and get a full steak dinner…for like 5 bucks, son.” Every conversation with them revolved around New York’s “superiority,” “Yo, ain’t shit in walking distance, ain’t no subway, the Chinese food here is shit. Back in Brooklyn, everything a nigga needed was within five blocks of the crib.”

NEW FLASH: This just in, this just in….YOUR NOT IN NEW YORK!

Me being an out of Towner from DC I understood I wasn’t home anymore. I understood we were all living in a scaled down, rustic version of Baltimore but I never felt the need to degrade it. It’s the ethnocentrism of New Yorkers that creates the false belief that everyone cares about what’s going on in New York all the time. Sometimes people from NY tend to tell you where they from without you even asking them. I was at a party one time and I saw this dude walk up to a fine ass chick at the bar, he flashed a smile and said “Hey baby, my name is Mike…from New York.” This chick’s eyes lit up and she quickly threw him to the ground and started fucking him in the middle of the club. Of course that never happened because she, like the many other people in the thousands of cities spread across the country, did not care.

I’ve seen the ethnocentrism of NY everywhere in NC. I’ve heard the stories of NY dope boys coming to town with the belief that their smarter than the average southern nigga. Me not being from the South (MD & DC doesn’t count),e NY niggas often felt free to rant and rave about Southerners around me, “These bumpkin ass niggas. If my boy’s from (Insert Borough) were here, we’d take over all this shit.” Of course there was the counter story from locals about how niggas ran out the NY cats from the city for what they called “lack of respect.” I’ve seen it happen more than once in all types of situations. Some nigga who weighed a buck sixty soaking wet thought he could knock out the big, neck bone eating, 260 country boy in the club, cuz well….that’s what Brooklyn niggas do. He was dragged with the quickness. That nigga caught an eye jammie so bad I thought he just came out a Chris Brown driven Lamborghini. I’m sorry but where you’re from doesn’t automatically make you tough, there’s a pussy nigga in every Projects and there’s a suburban nigga that will fuck you up. Every nigga out of NY does not know how to box.

The NY ego is heavy in HipHop. A few months ago I saw an issue of the Source that was dedicated to asking “What Happened to NY Hip-hop?” What happened to New York Hip-hop….IT GOT FUCKING WACK, that’s what happened to it. Other than established acts nobody is really checking for new artist from NY. Why is a NY based national publication asking this question? Did they dedicate an issue to the West when it was slumping? They did that issue because New Yorkers cannot accept the fact that nobody cares about something from New York. “Well Hip-hop was started in New York,” SO WHAT!!! Dr James Naismith was Canadian does that mean we’re supposed to turn to Toronto every minute for the next Kobe or Jordan? No, you go where whatever high school or college is popping to recruit.

I guess this rant is based on the recent news of the Lebron James signing. The mostly NY based sports news media put a strong emphasis on him coming to the Knicks or Nets. It got to the point that NY fans booed James for signing with the Miami Heat. The Knicks ain’t been shit since Patrick Ewing and Allan Houston were in their prime, WELL OVER A DECADE AGO. What made the New York press believe he wanted to go to either shitty ass rebuilding team vs. Miami, Chicago or what he established on Cleveland, especially after the $100 Million dollar contract for Ama’re Stoudemire (who is a matador on defense)? It’s the belief that the actual city was supposed to be more important to him than winning right now.

Respect is a two way street. I can’t say every single New York transplant is like this but I meet too many of them that are. If everything here sucks then why would you want to be here? As long as niggas show respect to other cities and the people in it then the problem should go away, but just remember as big and vast as NY is but one city in a country of 30,000 plus.

REVEREND BILLY GETS PRANKED HARD!!!!!!!

Religion can be a funny thing, if you know how to mock it LOL

TILL DEATH YOU PART....BULLSHIT!!!!

Two months removed from my 29th birthday I have the unceremonious task of looking ahead to the ripe old age of 30 in 10 more months. As the deadline approaches I reflect on my twenties and realize the pressure that surrounds me. I believe I've fucked off most of my twenties, sure I had plenty of good times and minor successes but now looms the pressure. I haven't got anywhere close to where I'm supposed to be career wise. I am not financial secure and just about every goal I had set at 18 has fallen through the floor. Despite the lack of success there is one goal I set at 18 that I'm proud to have not accomplished, marriage. My retarded ignorant ass at 18 thought I would have wifed up some broad by now and have a happy family. If I could go back in time I'd catch me back in '99 and smack the shit of me. After analyzing reality I now know marriage today in America is the biggest sham of the country.

The whole marriage system here is a one-sided, unjust union that only benefits women. If you’re a man honestly ask yourself...what do you get out of it? What does marriage do for you that couldn't have been done in a long term dating relationship? The answer here is nothing...nothing at all. What does the women get out of it, Financial and emotional security. The average couple in this country has the husband earning more than the wife. This means in the event of a divorce the party with the most money has to give the lesser one something, almost like your paying her for the time. A woman knows that once a man marries you he can't just up and leave. She knows in the event of a divorce she will get money and personal items the man has spent his entire life working for...Scott Peterson that ho. Pre-nup you say, protect you and your assets right, wrong! Even with a prenup if a judge is a woman or pussy whipped man they have the authority to overrule a prenup and any clauses in it they deem "unconstitutional." That could mean anything based on the situation. Women are always pushing the issue of marriage for this exact reason and that reason alone. Of course she masks the original intention by discussing her emotions and that touchy feely crap all while dangling her titties in your face. Marriage is really about the chick getting the richest guy she can attract. If your husband is unemployed and stays broke, then you’re not an attractive woman. Do you see rich guys with ugly chicks? It doesn't matter how they look, Donald Trump could walk in a room full of pretty boys and leave with the hottest chick in the entire room...WHY CUZ OF $$$$?? The guy most women end up marrying isn't the best looking guy she dated, he isn't the best sex she's ever had. He is the one that has the most money to offer her. It's a good chance your lady isn't ready to go the rest of her life without the best sex possible. She will eventually go behind a nigga's back to that ex-boyfriend she still rubs one out to on those long lonely nights. It's the same reason I laugh when I read any female's profile on a dating website. They list all these demands they are looking for in a man, but I know money will make them bitches compromise every last one of their expectations. I believe any man that proposes to a woman without pressure just wants’ to lock it up. That's it, he doesn't really love you or want to spend his entire life with just you...he just wants’ to make sure ain't nobody else gonna hit that. It's not a kind act of love; he's doing it for selfish reasons. Now if the shoe is on the other foot should the man get alimony for his time if she earns more money, NO! Nobody should get anything from a marriage unless they built it together during the marriage.

There's too much false advertising going around on behalf of women. First of all many women are deceitful when attracting a mate. A woman will mask everything real about her to sucker a man into marriage. She will pretend to like most of the things you like in an attempt to impress you. Of course once she sinks her hooks into you everything she pretended to like will be thrown out the window. She said she liked sports so you'd think she was cool, now she got a problem with it. She hit the gym solid for a few months before she met you. It wasn't cause she's a health nut, it's cause she wants’ to give the appearance that she this is what she normally looks like. It's not, once a lot of women get comfortable they tend to get lazy and stop caring so much about their appearance. Why not, if she gains a ton of weight and begins to look unattractive you can't just up and leave without paying her something for her time. Many women have credit issues when entering a marriage; they look towards their hubby to help them pay off debts. Debts that included everything she did before she met you. That romantic vacation she took with her ex-boyfriend a few years back, the shopping sprees she had to attract the richest dick in the club, the utility bills she has paid for other unemployed niggas she used to date. Your expected to pay all that, lest not forget the student loans to college she didn't graduate from. The promises she makes during the dating process are only used as a decoy to lure you in deeper.

The actual process of marriage is in itself a joke. You’re signing a legally binding document promising an emotion, a got damn emotion! Would you sign a contract promising to be happy all the time? In the event you become sad you might lose half your shit. Sounds stupid right, same as love. Love is just an emotion albeit a powerful one but an emotion never the less. I don't think it's constitutional to sign a business document claiming love. That's all marriage is, a business. It was nothing to do with love; the actual process of a marriage is pure business. The documents you sign are similar to those when two corporations merge. That's what it is, the binding of two corporate entities.

The institution of marriage in America has gotten out of hand. The divorce rate in this country only proves my logic. With such an unfair advantage women have in divorce proceedings it is unwise for any man of substance and wealth to compromise his integrity in jumping the broom. The risk are too high, the rewards are too low, marriage only works if don't this you'll be successful. Most men don't fear being alone when they marry; they fear being 60 and not being able to get no pussy. I urge every man reading this to get that money cuz as long as you’re counting cheddar, pussy will always be there whether your 29 or 92.

TRILLEST GOT DAMN VIDEO IN A LONG TIME

I don't know who Lil' B is but the song is terrible. Hell this ain't even the official video, somebody compile the clips but you know what...who give's a fuck it's funny.

LAME NIGGAS WITH $$$$$$$

The Tiger Wood's Debacle, this is what happens when high profile lame niggas get money. Not only is he going through public scrutiny right now, he also has to pay around $100 million to his now Ex-wife. So not only does he lose millions in endorsements and potential tournament winnings, he also has to pay a huge chunk of dough to some broad for shitting out two kids. Was it his cheating that got him into this mess? No, it was simply because...he couldn't control his bitches. If you got as much money as Tiger Woods you can have side bitches when you’re married...you just better know how to control them. How do you control that many bitches...well if your Tiger Woods, anyway you see fit.

You've got too much money wrapped up in your wholesome public image, which means you ironically have to be the biggest asshole possible behind the scenes, ala Michael Jordan. You have to smile and cheese for the cameras yet still provoke God-like fear amongst your mistresses. Tiger Woods was a nice guy unfortunately he didn't have the cut off switch necessary to handle that many bitches. Tiger respected these women too much which is a problem when you’re dealing with any bitch on the side. First of all, bitches on the side can't be treated like wifey. If she were wifey material, after all, she wouldn't be your bitch on the side. How are you gonna have that many women tell on you? The first thing Tiger should have done was offer them all hush money. If they complain after that then you issue the first of many DEATH THREATS. After that, if there's still a problem, you make good on the death threats. You can pay a nigga in the hood a few stacks to duct tape that bitch, throw her in the swamp and tie some raw chicken around her neck to attract a few gators. Trust me, nobody is gonna miss a Perkins waitress. And if your Tiger Woods how are you going to keep all your side bitches numbers in the SAME PHONE with your mama's number? No, one phone for your regular people (moms, wifey, business associates)...and a 2nd phone for all the numbers people shouldn't know about (Side bitches, weed man, STD clinic). You NEVER EVER have one cell phone when you’re a multi millionaire.

Now his wife gets the ultimate come up. She went from a nanny to a lazy ass housewife, to a multi-millionaire and all she had to do was push out two multi-mullato children, that’s a come up. First of all a white woman nanny is as common as a hood rat nurse. This broad was living the life during marriage and now after marriage. Let's be real here anybody with some got damn sense (this excludes most women) knows that any man making millions has chicks on the side. Elin knew, Shaq's wife knew, David Letterman's wife probably knew too. The thing is infidelity isn't a problem until the media get's a hold of it and blows it out of proportion. Most of these women compromise and allow them to have women on the side in exchange for the good life they provide them with. As long as she doesn't know, the family is happy until someone slips and the news is leaked to the press. Now the family's secret is out the bag. Her relatives and friends are all in her ear about it, everybody is looking at her telling her what she must do. Now she feels pressured to do what is expected of her and not what she really wants, which is stay with him and turn a blind eye. And since most women always have a need to validate themselves through the opinion of others she gave in to popular demand. I believe if it was only between her and him she would've forgave him and moved on, but she didn't want to appear weak or become the subject of scorn through public opinion. The media is infamous for fucking up families like crack cocaine in the 80's.

So what have we learned here today; Ladies, if your man makes millions he has other chicks...Fellas, handle your side bitches with tenderness then extreme force. I hope all the lames with paper learn a thing or two from Tiger because this bullshit has got to stop.